so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
Randomize
