Too much gin, very little bucket
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Sext me about skeletons
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
