woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
