her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I think a kid would responsible me up
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
