just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I just want to make out with him forever
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
