The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
