I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
