so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
