So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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