I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
