Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
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