I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
