is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
