Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
