I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
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