is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
