I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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