lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
