If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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