I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
