Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Randomize
