did you get engaged???
actually, I'm a sock model
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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