just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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