We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
