Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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