You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
You are a genius and a whore.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
