But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I was cut off by 8, I need to rethink this breakup therapy strategy
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
