Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
