I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
