I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
She's the barista slut.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
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