dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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