i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
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