As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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