thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
