We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
