nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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