i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
