Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
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