we're blogging at a bar
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
