Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
