I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
