i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
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