At least make sure they are 18
Why
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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