He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Randomize
