I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
