I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
