you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
