Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Randomize
