i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
jump out the window naked night went bad
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
