i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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