Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
