to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
