i permit you to call me
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
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