Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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