Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
honey bunches of taint.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Randomize
