I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Randomize
