I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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