omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.