Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?