My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
