Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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