She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
